Sick of being sick

As you can probably guess from my title I've been, and still am sick. It's the only reason why I haven't been updating my blog. I'm completely drained from energy, but I feel responsible that I need to post at least something in here.

This started on last weeks Friday. Out of nowhere, boom! I got fever, and straight to 38-39° (Celsius, go and find your Fahrenheit converter yourself!) and that's a lot for me. I don't know like what's my normal body temperature is, but when I'm even like 36,8° I'm not feeling well.

  And also the coughing started, and next day it had gone worse and my slight cough was now terrible. And I started to cough (slime/)sputum out. And felt that there was a giant ball of mucus/slime stuck deep on my throat that makes breathing hard. 

  And of course all the wonderful joint and muscles pains gets extra painful.

So since my fever didn't drop, and my nights were hell to sleep (even with the power of painkillers). We decided to go to see doctor. Since I wasn't so thrilled to go and queue for hours on the public side, we reserved appointment on private site. Right on Monday.

  For those who don't know Finnish healthcare system is lil different. There's public side that's open to all and then there's Private side. But it costs much (well compared to public), but if you have insurance you can get part of your money back from there. (difference is like public~15€ and private~+70€) 

First I had thought that "Fuck No, I'm so not having another angina AGAIN!" (It would've been my 5th within a year) and of course I told the doctor my doubts and all that's been bugging my body etc. And he said that he really can't be sure. Since my lymph nodes aren't that swollen and my tonsils are looking ok. But he sent me to get tested in lab just to be sure.

  I assumed it was only (I think it's called) pharynx culture, you know when they took the long cotton swap thingie and swipe it on your throat and it feels like your gonna throw up, yes? But I soon found out that they also needed my blood. There's seriously nothing I hate more than blood tests. I'd rather take a pet spider than let people steal my blood. Usually they're taken from elbow pit/crook. I have good veins and they're easy to sting, but my elbow crooks are really sensitive. And it's always like "It's like a mosquito bite, it wont hurt long. Just a little sting :)" WELL FUCK NO! I can fucking feel the needle in my vein and the pressure when the blood goes in the tube! I'd rather take one mosquito bite. I've been told that it can be because my vein has a "V-shape" that it crosses soon after that so it can be more sensitive because of that.

But the lady who was taking it saw how totally inner panicing I was and asked if I preferred that we took the test from finger tip. My eyes widened and I was like "Really? You could take it from my finger, yeah. That would be so much better" It didn't hurt at all when she took the blood test. And when I panic of blood tests I'm barely breathing and uncontrollably shaking and firmly keeping my hands tied so no one can sting me with their evil needles.

  But yeah the doctor really couldn't do more than order me more painkillers and get me tested. 

So my mom was impatient and wanted a solution faster. We could see some of the results from computer like next day. And mom called the doctor, apparently the guy works in private only on Mondays and on public for rest of the week. Oh, my mom is also working on healthcare -industry so she knows usually and she knows what those tests means etc. 

   And my fever just didn't come down. It's really painful. It's either too hot or too cold and it's never a good position. And the coughing hurts and oh god now I'm sweating my ass off, so I'll toss the blanket away, But wait! Now it's too cold. So yeah. 

  So! Mom called to the guy and he said that why didn't we go to public? And that we need to get my fever down, because if it wont come down it's starting to make my organs feel too hot and the heat starts to damage them. And that when I've had ten days of fever she should call again or do smt. I really don't remember correctly what, but yeah.

And then mom told that I need to be taken new blood tests, but she can take them in here. But I need to go and get taken new pharynx culture. I really was at too bad shape to panic and resist mom at Friday morning when she took two tubes of blood out of me. and later that morning I went to hospital to get that test done.

Mom saw the results later that day on computer at her work and my inflammation rates were sky high (for normal ppl they're like less than 5 or 10, mine were 60), so something is wrong. But we still don't know the culture's result... We'll see them on Monday then.

So today's ninth day of me being sick. And mom is worried to sick. My fevers been everyday over 38°, witch isn't good. My every single muscle is aching. It even hurts to breathe. My lungs hurt. I'm tired of coughing, because every time I cough, my abs hurt so much that I feel them my stomach rips apart and my back snaps in pieces. There's tinnitus in my ears all of the time, the volume of it just changes.  My head aches. I feel like every breath I take is penetrating acid in my lungs. My skin feels like it's melting off and sticking to every surface that it touches. There's no power in my movements. I have lost my apetite. The fever is making me have terrible nightmares and they woke me up and I cannot sleep after that anymore. Then there's always oh so pleasure with arrhythmia.

  The only thing that I try to do is force myself to eat at least something everyday. But I drink a lot, well I probably sweat most of it off.

Mom said that it's probably already got into my lungs and it's most likely either pneumonia or bronchitis.

Einari has kept me company a lot. He needs attentions and since most of my, well all of my days I'm laying on sofa. He has come to see if I'm alive like every fifteen minutes and meows at my face and always needing scratching :'D Like now. He insisted to get in my lap even tou there's laptop and not much space. Well he's my 'little' black sunshine ♥

I'm sorry I haven't write my latest Movie Monday, I DID keep my Avengers -marathon, even thought I didn't feel like it, since I was so drained. But I did. I've also watched all the Scrubs I own, I need moar ;;--;;.

Sincerely yours, Cakey.

Oh, and ps. I'm going to doctor's on Monday. again. To see what's next. I hope I wont be hospitalized.